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  • Jaycee Foran

Controversial Corner Pt. I

Updated: Mar 9, 2021


I think I can speak for most engaged couples when I say that the wedding planning process can be difficult. Obviously, with a professional planner's help (like someone from our team at Shawn Schindler Events) it eases the stresses surrounding the, what I like to call, infrastructure of a wedding. Professional planners help you fine-tune the details that make your wedding not only look the way you want, but flow the way you want.

However, there are certain elements of the planning process that fall into controversial territory. Some of which include:

  • Who should be in your bridal party?

  • Who needs reserved seating?

  • How do you handle the table assignments when there are feuding families?

  • How do you address whether you want kids to attend your wedding or not?

These few topics are things that we hear about frequently and help mitigate during the execution of your day-of events. However, there is never really a right – or wrong – way to answer them. Not the answer you were looking for? Well, that’s just it. Not every guest is going to be thrilled with the way you plan your big day because everyone has their own opinions about how they have done things or would’ve done things differently. That's why it is important to remember that your wedding is about you and your future with your significant other. That, my friends, makes you the pilot of this plane and no matter how you go about things by the end of the day, it is your guests that ultimately want a seat in it.

So! Let's hit it off and talk about the first two—Here we go!

  • Who should be in your bridal party? Whoever you want or don’t want. At the end of the day, any friends or family should be happy and thankful to be a part of witnessing your love blossom into a wonderful marriage – regardless of whether they stand beside you for 20 minutes at the altar or not. They are your friends and loved ones, they have stood by you for all the years prior to that very moment. Do not feel obligated to add a 15 person wedding party because you don’t want someone to feel left out. They will be spending the next several hours with you and your new partner celebrating your wedding regardless.

**(Besides, bridal party outfits are expensive! You’re helping folks save some money – and everyone likes saving money!)**

  • Who needs reserved seating? Reserved seating at the ceremony is totally your choice! There are the obvious individuals we put front row (parents, grandparents, etc.) but when it comes to your Great Aunt Karen twice removed with her 5 kids that you haven’t seen since you were 15… You can either have her sit among the rest of the guests, or, if such is important to you, you can set a few rows past the first row on each side to stay reserved for “Family Only” of the bride and groom. This way you know that the family that matters to you can get a prime view of the ceremony. To make this situation easier, be sure you create a list of family member names you want to be seated on these reserved rows so us planners can ensure you can see all the faces you want – in all the rows you want!

So to reel it all back in...You and your spouse get to determine the total invite list. What you choose to do with them, how you choose to place them, it is all up to you and no one else gets a say in it. Because ultimately, everybody knows (or eventually understands) that you and your spouse kept everybody in mind and made selections and decisions with true intention and meaning. No one can judge that, and if they did, that's probably why they got the table in the back corner.

Thanks for reading! Make sure to look out for Controversial Corner Pt. II.

See you there!


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