- Jaycee Foran
Controversial Corner Pt. II
Good to see you again! Now, let's jump right back to business and refresh, shall we?
Last post we talked about how you and your spouse behold the universe's ultimate power of deciding who your wedding party should be and who gets reserved seating. What you decide to do with them is in your grace's hands. A little dramatic? Trust me. That was nowhere near the drama level of having to choose and place people in your wedding. If you ask me, nothing starts drama quicker in wedding planning until you have to play around with your human chess pieces. That's why you must remember at all costs that your wedding is about you and your future with your significant other, not about your Great Aunt Petunia and her seating assignment.
So today's topics cover the following:
How do you handle the table assignments when there are feuding families?
How do you address whether you want kids to attend your wedding or not?
Without much transition, let's get right to the meat!
How do you handle the table assignments when there are feuding families? This one is always a tough and controversial topic. You want your families to sit together – but maybe there isn’t the best dynamic between the families or maybe there is some animosity in re-marriages. However, these people are people that mean enough to you that you have invited them all to your wedding. More often than not, I see a surprising amount of maturity in these situations. Feuds you would think never could be managed – find it in their hearts to be kind and repress any animosity for you and your partners’ special day. Their love for you is greater than their disdain for each other. Conversation is key in this, so ask them – “do you think you can do this for us. It would mean the world to us for just this one day” and see what they have to say. Worst case, they won’t sit together and in that case, get a smaller sized table for each family (6-8 top vs 8-10 top) and have them be in a more intimate and exclusive setting. Unfortunately, they can’t avoid each other the whole wedding (heck – the point of the reception is to mingle with each other!) so just figure out where everyone stands, and resolve accordingly.
**Don’t forget, we (SSE) are always going to be there to help maintain the peace and keep you happy, so don’t hesitate to ask for our assistance before or during the wedding to help out with this topic.**
How do you address whether you want kids to attend your wedding or not? This one is my personal favorite maybe because I know that I do not want kids at my own wedding. So, if you are like me and don’t want kids at your wedding, easy answer: Don’t have them! It's ok to tell someone that they can’t bring their kids just as much as it is ok to ask someone not to bring a plus one if you weren’t giving them the option to. If you do have kids at your wedding though, be sure to have special seating and an assigned individual to keep their eye on them during the events. Provide lots of activities at the kids tables to keep them occupied and talk to your catering (or have us talk with them) about providing plated kids meals with kid friendly food options (trust me when I say not all 4 year olds appreciate your beef wellington with steamed vegetables the same way us adults would!) Lastly, if you want kids to be a part of the ceremony, but not the reception, consider an onsite babysitter for your guests with children. Talk to your venue about a space that can be used for the children and offer the services to your guests with kids as a “if you would like them to join us, please let us know as we will be providing a babysitter for the evening” this way you can gauge the requirements for whomever you hire to watch the kids. Feel free to ask our team about this, too, during the planning process! We have had onsite sitters at multiple weddings before and we are happy to assist in getting you connected to the best individuals to help!
In all truth, when planning weddings, there are always obstructions that will impact the Big Day. But know that, as wedding planners, we make sure that you, your partner and the people you love and care about are happy and satisfied with the outcome of the memories being made. But when it comes time for you as the bride/groom to make the tough decisions like those above, remember – it is your day. No matter what, our job is to ensure that your vision comes to life in every fairy-tale laced detail you can imagine.
Here is our advice: Go with your gut, ignore the “should do'' attitude and do what you want to do. It is one day. One very important, one very big day in your life. It should be about you and your decision for your wedding that makes the cut. Never feel sorry for wanting your wedding to be exactly the way you picture it.
Got any more tough topics or controversial conversation points? Feel free to reach out to us to discuss how we can help answer the tough questions and plan your day – exactly as you see it!